Day 53... a little more normal

Each week I am feeling a little more like myself. I pasted the 6 weeks mark and pasted a couple of milestones. I am able to lift 5lbs and therefore can go shopping by myself. Also, I am able to blow my nose now and I am start adding more items into my diet. I can eat most foods I can cut with a fork that doesn't cause pain when chewing. Some new food I can eat are salmon, shredded chicken, meatloaf, peas, pasta, and soft bread. Chewing is becoming a little easier and taking a little less time. I am slowly trying new foods. It feels good to be able to cook food that both my husband and I can eat together. I am eating soups and smoothies several times a week in between more solid meals.

My last doctor appointment went pretty well. All my incisions are healed and look good. My mouth opening is not within normal range. It should be at 30mm by now but I am at 26mm. I know that isn't much but it takes a lot of work to get it there. In the morning my opening shrinks after all night with it closed. I have to use a heat pad to help loosen the muscles and stretch my jaw 5 times a day.  I am starting work soon , so I hope I can do it. I am still numb on my chin and parts of my lower lip. I have some tingly feeling in it which is a good sign.  He said that in 6 to 9 months my jaw should be back to normal and I will be able to eat anything! WOOHOO!  

Driving is feeling more normal and I am doing it more often. I am starting to get into a normal schedule. My hubby and I went on my first big outing a couple of days ago. I was feeling more normal and I had more energy. It was free museum day in the city and we spent 2 and 1/2 hours walking around the museum. We then went down to fisherman's wharf and had clam chowder in a bread bowl! It was so yummy and I could eat some of the soft bread! We did some more walking and had fresh mini donuts for dessert (they were super soft). After all that I was exhausted.  We still had grocery shopping to do on the way home. Even though , Derek said he could go in and do it by himself. I went in. Needless to say on the way home I feel asleep! It was only 6:30pm. So I guess I am not completely back to normal, but I am getting there....  

Day 36...

Every week I am getting a little better and feeling more and more like myself. I am still eating soft foods, but slowly adding more food to my diet. I can eat rice, eggs, cheese enchiladas, and pasta. I have to cut the food in tiny pieces and takes a long time to eat. It is quite wonderful to eat some real food. However, I am mainly just eating soups and smoothies because it is easier to eat and takes less time. People keep asking when will I be able to eat "normally" again. Well the complete healing process takes about a year. Yet, next week my jaw will be about 50% healed and I will be able to start eating cut up chicken and fish. I will also be able to eat most things I can cut with a fork. It is really hard to tell when I will be able to eat more normally. 

Another question, I get asked a lot is have you noticed has the surgery helped any problems you had before the surgery. Well I feel like it is still to early to tell. I still have some numbness on my lower lip and chin. I also continue to have some jaw pain when I wake up. So It is hard to tell about the quality of my sleep. My husband says he notices that I don't really snore that much anymore which is amazing since I was the girl that friends would not want to sleep in the same room as because I snored too loud. So that is happy!  Also, It is easier to close my lips.  

I started driving about a week ago. My first trip was to the library about 25minutes away. It felt a little awkward, I noticed I was a little more cautiously. I was tired when I came home. My second trip to the library a couple of days ago was a lot better and I didn't feel too tired afterward.

All things considered, I am well on my way in my recovery! 

Day 25... Slow and Steady

Sorry I haven't written in awhile, but there hasn't been anything to exciting that has happened. My recovery is slow but steady. At times I feel like nothing is really improving, but I do feel better.  I can open my mouth wide enough for one and half fingers to get in there. The goal in the next week is to be able open my mouth wide enough to get two fingers plus in it. What feels really slow is what I can eat. It hasn't changed too much since I have been unwired. I am still eating soft foods that I don't have to chew much. I was able to eat scrambled eggs and small pieces of muffins! It still takes a long time for me to eat. My swelling is almost all gone, I just have small swelling on my left side. My bruising is all gone.

 Last weekend, I was well enough to go to a friend's wedding. I had a great time, but I could definitely tell I was far from being back to normal. At the reception, I was able to eat some sweet potatoes, butternut squash raviolis and gelato, but it was so hard seeing and smelling delicious steak and chicken. I was able to get on the dance floor a few times, but if you know me, I would have been on the dance floor all night if I could. I couldn't move too much when I dance because it would shake my jaw. I was exhausted when we got home but was so happy I could make it!

We have been blessed to have our church bring some meals for Derek and I. These meals have helped change things up and have given me more variety. Also, some of my coworkers came to visit. It has been such a treat having people visit me while Derek is at work. I think this has been the most visitors we have had while we lived here.I know it isn't easy for people to come to our house as we live 30+ minutes from people and the roads are not as easy to travel on. We are so thankful for all the prayers, meals, emails, cards, calls, texts, and time people have given to help me in this recovery process. We thank God for the people He has brought into our lives. Life is so much better with community. I wondered how things would go, having this surgery when we live far away from family, friends and "town." I knew it might be a little more challenging, but with God all things are possible. It has been difficult at times, but God has been so faithful!  

 Surgery has a way of humbling you and striping you down to your core, at least it has for me. You often become dependent on others and you are not able to do day to day tasks on your own. When you have to have someone help feed you, brush your hair, or help you take a shower, it gives you a different perspective. Add some pain to the situation and your niceness often gets pealed away. I realized how I was easier to react and get upset over small things. I am so thankful for my husband taking care of me during this surgery and everyone who took care of me during my back surgery.  Surgery makes you think of all the blessing around and in your life.

2 weeks ...

Yay it has been 2 weeks! I am improving daily. I am still on soft foods that I can swallow with out having to chew such as avocado, mash potatoes, blended soups, smoothies, apple sauce, cottage cheese,ice cream, peanut butter, cookie butter, and yogurt. The magic bullet and baby spoons have been life savers.Today, I tried pancakes. I had to cut it in micro mini pieces, chew slowly and use drink to help loosen the pancake. I was able to eat a little more than a quarter of the pancake but felt exhausted after. I crave "real" food more and more. I know soon I will blend up pizza or a burrito. Sounds gross, I know but when you only have a limited diet, everything you can't have becomes this mouth watering mirage in the distance.

I was able to go to church on Sunday and it was great to see people. Everyone was surprised to see me. I was able to stay through the whole service. We even went to a friends house afterward. I was  exhausted afterward. I went home to take a nap but it was good to get out of the house.    

I am able to do more independently now, which is good because my husband goes back to work in 2 days. God bless him, he has taken good take of me. I am a little overwhelmed at the thought of doing everything by myself , but thankfully Derek works where we live so he can come home at a phone call (most of the time). Also, my church is going to  help with meals and some friends are going to come visit. I know I will be fine. I am so glad I do not have to go back to work until August! Yay for more recovery time.

Day 11 Unwired...OH HAPPY DAY!

HALLELUIAH, PRAISE THE LORD I AM UNWIRED! As soon as the doctor clipped the first wire I felt some relief. It was an amazing feeling being able to talk, open your mouth, stick your tongue out and brush the tops of your teeth. It felt like my tongue was in a prison. You know I love games and I was getting good at charades to explain what I wanted but it was not that fun. Being able to talk and express my feeling was just plain wonderful. Even better than being able to talk was eating real food! I had us stop of one of the few fast food restaurants in my area to get some glorious mashed potatoes and my husband got a mexican pizza  and a few other items( it is a KFC/Taco Bell). I love mexican pizzas, it is one of my faves. I couldn't resist taking a small piece , sticking on my tongue, and sucking on it! It was like heaven on my tongue. I did have to spit most of it out but oh it was still tasty. I know sounds strange but you have know idea how food deprived I have been. How I miss bold flavors and textures. For the past 10 days, I have had watered down soups and smoothies. The mashed potatoes were so tasty. I know I will get board of soft foods but it is such a glorious step forward. Since I was little girl, I have always loved food. My dad helped me with this love. He always talked about enjoying your food and his favorite part of amusement parks was the junk food. You know I do feel blessed that I was raised to be able to eat for taste. My family never had a lot of money but we never went without food on our plates. I know in some parts of the world people eat for survival and taste has nothing to do with it.

One thing to be praying for is one of my incisions is open and just to be safe, he put me on antibiotics. They moved my lower left jaw about 10 mm forward and my right jaw about 8 mm forward. I have to wear rubberbands 24 hours a day and do some jaw strengthening exercises. Right now I can open my jaw a couple centimeters, but in 2 weeks the Dr wants me to be able to open them 30cm.   Anyways, I feel free and excited to be one step further in my recovery.

Day 9 & 10...

I have been feeling better but, mornings and sleeping have been rough. I wake up in the middle of the night and I know I need to drink or I will get dehydrated. It sounds simple but it takes me about an hour to drink 8 ounces in my sippy cup and probably 2 ounces fall out. I thought I was doing so good that I could come of pain meds. I have never really liked to take medication since I was young. Yesterday, I went to sleep with out pain meds and I also tried to sleep in my bed. Well, I guess I got ahead of myself . I woke up at 4am coughing up mucus, a bloody nose, and in pain.  The morning was a little of a set back but then I began to feel better. Last night (day 10), I actually slept in my own bed and woke up semi rested. When I woke up in the middle of the night I didn't get a drink, I just wanted to sleep. Well I woke up feeling sick and really thirsty. Thankfully, it didn't take to long after I drink some juice that I began to feel better. Today, I got to venture beyond the redwoods for the first time since my surgery. I thought I was doing really good , but it made me realize I still have a long way to go. My next step, in my recovery is getting unwired tomorrow. I am excited. I will be able to maybe eat without Derek having to help feed me. I will be able to have thicker soups, smoothies and shakes. I might be able to have some peanut butter or cookie butter. After getting my wires off, I will have rubber bands that help hold my jaw in place. Here's to my next

Day 8 ...moving on up

Yay week 1 is down ! I get my mouth unwired in 3 days! I am feeling better and better. I am getting more energy too because I am able to have stamina to eat more. It still takes a lot of time and 2 of us to help me drink diluted soups. Today, was my first strange blended food.Well, besides avocado and broth, I wanted sausage and cheesy hash-browns (with beef broth to make it able for me to drink it). It was quite tasty. I am sure there will be more crazy blends. I do miss real food but for now I am doing ok. My swelling has gone down a lot, but my bruising is getting a little more colorful. When I look in the mirror, I don't get freaked out anymore.  I was even able to brush a little on the inside of my my mouth with my infant toothbrush.   Watch-out, yeah there is one of those little things you take for granted.  I also have this plastic splint in my mouth too that food can get into. .It is no fun having a nasty taste in your mouth all the time, but it is getting better. Goodtimes. My back is a little better as I am able to walk and stretch more. I was able to walk outside a little, too bad it is a little rainy here. Also, I am not taking any pain meds during the day. I really didn't think I would feel this good so soon. YAY Thank you JESUS for carrying me through this! 

Day 6 and 7... On the upside

Day 6 was pretty good. I felt a lot better and not in so much pain. It is still hard for me to eat and it takes both of us to help me eat. I read that I wouldn't want much milk because your nose will be clogged and you can't blow your nose for 6 weeks. I really didn't think it would be this bad. I love milk products and they have a lot of calories. I thought that would last a day or two and then  I would be good to go. I don't like even a little bit of milk products in any smoothies or soups right now. It makes me get all phlegmy. Most of the soups I made have lots of milk because I wanted lots of calories. I hope I will be able to have more milk products soon. I have lost 10 lbs since my surgery, the good thing is that before surgery I gained 10 lbs. So I am at my natural weight but I don't want to lose too much more. Also, It is so weird that every time I eat it feels like my stomach is at war with me. Seriously, stomach you are not helping.

 I slept pretty good last night. I woke up after 4hrs, changed my ice, drink some food and went back to sleep for another 4hrs. That was happy. You know sitting this much and only able to sleep in one position can be painful for most people, but with someone that has chronic back pain  (rods and fusion) it is horrible. It is affecting every part of my body. My legs, arms, and neck are so tight. I try and lay down flat and do some mild stretches but it is so painful and takes a lot of energy.  Derek ( my husband) has been wonderful through it all. He gives me small massages and is so patient with me. Even in the hospital a nurse commented on how I have a great husband. I am so thankful to God for my Husband. He has been such a blessing to me. I feel so bad that he has to go through this.

Day 7 has been a little easier and I feel like I am going to keep improving. I haven't felt dizzy or nauseous. It was easier to do some walking around the house. I had my first bowel movement today and I did a little dance. So glad that is out of my worries and No more prune juice! My tummy doesn't hurt anymore when I eat. Woohoo! I really can't believe it has only been a week since my surgery. It feels like months. So glad that hopefully the hardest week is  under my belt. Thanks family and friends for all your prayers and love! I will load some pics up a little later!   

Day 4 & 5... Roller-coaster

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have had a little rough patch. Let me recap for you. Well day four WAS turning out my best day, my pain was down and I began to take diluted soup with a device the nurse gave me at the class. It took two of us to feed me but it was worth it. The soup tasted so good on my throat. It also took less time to drink , about 25 mins for a cup. I still was not getting enough calories. I was doing fine, getting ready for "bed" when it hit me in a flash... nausea and then it came... It wasn't as bad as I had envisioned but really I hate throwing up. I thought I had passed that milestone , but I guess I needed  the full experience. Let's just say the rest of the night and  day 5 was a battle, throwing up several more times and struggling to get any liquid down. One cup of ensure felt like 10 cups as it took over 2 hours to go down. I struggled with nausea and my stomach feeling like it was burning. I don't understand why every time I tried to "eat" my stomach hasn't leaped for joy. We are also trying to get my bowels a moving , drinking yummy prune juice and such. I hope that happens soon because that is not a journey I would like to go on. Day 5 has been the toughest day home so far. When your feeling horrible and it is hard to communicate, frustration becomes real. Bruising is starting to show on my face and neck. It is a nice green yellow. Don't be alarmed they told us bruising will happen and gravity takes it down .Thanks for encouragements, prayer and love.

Day 2 & 3... Swelling and Pain

Well before we were discharged from the hospital we asked for more pain medicine and nausea meds. It was a rough ride home. We live over an hour from the hospital and some of the road is rough and bumpy. Even parts I didn't think was bumpy I could feel rattle and jar my face. Praise the Lord I didn't throw up or get too nauseous. They only gave me Tylenol with codeine for pain and that just didn't cut it. Also, it tasted so gross I had to put it in a glass of juice.  My nose became stuffy and would often bleed. This made it harder for me to breath. I often had to remind myself to calm down and breath slowly. Nasal spray and Vaporizer were my friends. Because I was so stuffy, I didn't want anything with milk in it such as ensure. I tried diluted soup but it was too thick. I could only get down juices because I was too swollen.   Drinking takes 40 minutes for 9 ounces. I can't feel my face so I am often drooling or having juice spill out. So needless to say getting enough calories is a challenge and I was so hungry. I tried sleeping on a wedge but this made me more stuffy. I slept about3 hours that night. My husband called in for better pain meds and once we got that I was able to sleep more and began feeling better. Nurse says the swelling will increase over the next 5 days. Really I can't see how I can get any more swollen. I am constantly icing my face and sipping out of a sippy cup. Well I am glad I have 3 days under my belt.